This year has been a very difficult one for the Crow and
Cheyenne communities here because it has been marked by three young people
taking their own lives. In the past three months three local high school
students have committed suicide, and one of those students went to Saint Labre.
There are days when I can see the deep pain that afflicts the students who
remain, the friends and family of those who have left this world. It is hard to
know what to do in the face of such tragedy, how to be present for the students
I care so deeply about. It has been in being in community with my students and
the larger community here that I have been able see healing in this time of
suffering. We have taken the time to smudge ourselves, time to cry together, and
I have learned some of the Crow and Cheyenne traditions of mourning. I have
never been so moved at a funeral as when I heard the Crow and Cheyenne people
sing in their language and cry out with voices so full of sorrow yet full of
strength. There is a favorite song here that says “No more crying, let me wipe
away those tears, let me see your smile, there’s a better day”. It speaks to my
heart as a call for healing. A healing that we need here, a healing that I have
found in the beating of the hand drum and the voices of the community here. At
the Saint Labre powwow two weekends ago there were special dances for healing
and to ward off the dark spirit that has fallen over our community. It is hard
to separate myself from the pain I see in my students, but I have come to
experience not only the pain here but the healing as well. The people I serve
are a people that have for centuries endured immense suffering, struggle, and
pain. I have found that this is a place where pain is a part of life, and that
pain needs to be expressed to find healing. There is healing in letting your
pain be known to yourself and others and letting the Creator, the First Maker,
heal us and our community. Pain is understood here and time that is needed is
given for healing. I think it is a healthier way to move on from the pain that
we know will always be a part of life, and has taught me how to deal with my
own pain past and present. I am thankful to the Creator for guiding me here, to
teach me the Crow and Cheyenne way, a way of healing. On days when I find
myself in the midst of struggle and pain is present I can hear the hand drum in
my mind and feel it beat in my heart telling me that there will be a better
day.
