Rejoicing

Anna and I at Crazy Head Springs

I was incredibly blessed to have my parents and youngest sister Anna visit me in Ashland for Easter. After eight looooong months I finally got to see them in person and I was so happy to see them it brought me to tears. Not seeing my family for such a long time has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I could not have asked for a better way to celebrate Easter than to rejoice in Christ’s resurrection with my family. I loved sharing my home and my life at Saint Labre with them. In addition to it being a blessing to have my family with me it was a blessing to reflect on all the people who have made my experience in Ashland and Saint Labre such a wonderful one. Every time I introduced my parents to someone at the school or in the community I was reminded of how they have welcomed me and made an impact on my life here. It was a positive experience that made me feel confident in rejoicing in my decision to stay in Ashland another year. I have officially committed to spending another year in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps NorthWest and serving at the Saint Labre Dormitory in Ashland. It was a decision that took a lot of discernment and prayer, but I believe that the Creator has called me to be here. This year has brought me so much happiness and I want to spend another year discerning the root of that happiness. I also can’t imagine leaving all the people that I have come to love here. This place has been a great source of healing for me and I want to allow the Great Spirit to continue to move and work in me. I am very excited about all the possibilities another year as a Jesuit Volunteer at Saint Labre holds, and hope that it will continue to impact and inspire me.

Crazy Head Springs

In A Good Way

Lately I have noticed that some of my housemates and I have been picking up phrases from the community here and starting to talk like people here. I was telling one of my housemates who works at the school that she is starting to sound like the students when yesterday I found myself talking like them too. Many people especially the Native elders will use the phrase “in a good way”. Earlier in the year we had many spirits bothering the students in the dorm and so we had it blessed by the elders and they spoke of how many of the spirits come in a good way to protect us and check on us. Some recent events have really helped me experience how we can experience things “in a good way”. The past two months at St. Labre have been marked with great sorrow and grief. We have lost too many people in the community including three young women who took their own lives, and one of these young women was a student at St. Labre. The suffering and grief of the students here was almost unbearable. To see so many people who already face so many struggles in their lives overcome by pain was incredibly hard to witness. Seeing their sorrow and pain I faced my own struggle but was able to find hope in the love and care of the St. Labre community. In being part of this community and caring for those who were suffering I was able to be with my students in their sorrow in a good way. I did not let their sorrow overwhelm me but instead I was present to them in their grief and offered them comfort. Although many days were difficult to get through I was able to find grace in the experience and grow in love for those who were struggling. In the past I have let times like these consume me and bring down my spirit, but the Crow and Cheyenne have taught me how to experience these things in a good way. I have learned to not only listen to the language of the people here, but to let it become a part of me and my experience. Please pray for the community here as they continue to recover from their grief. I know that will all the love in this community we can continue to heal and grow as a community in a good way.

Little Moments Make a Big Difference

It is not very often that big things happen in a small town like Ashland, but often little things make a big difference. So often when I see my students walk through the door to the dorm on Sunday night they come not just with physical baggage. Seeing the struggles that many of them face sometimes it is hard to feel like I can make a difference, but everyday my amazing students remind me of why I’m here. It is the everyday experiences that may seem small to some, but I can see that in the eyes of many of the students is big. Recently something pretty big happened at St. Labre. There was a school wide initiative to raise money for the St. Baldricks foundation by having people raise money to have individuals around campus buzz their heads. Somehow my students convinced me to become involved so the deal became if they raised over $400 they could buzz my head, and even add some cool designs. They had a couple weeks to raise the money and in the end they raised $407 that would go toward childhood cancer research. The week of the buzz-a-thon event on Thursday night one of the dormitory students buzzed my head in the middle of the dorm while everyone stood around and watched. It was great to hear everyone cheer as all my hair got buzzed off and they added some awesome zig-zags and lines into my hair once it was buzzed. It was an incredible experience to have all the students surround me and support this crazy endeavor to create awareness and raise money for a good cause. Although it is still a little weird that my hair drives in a minute I love my new haircut and love the reminder of that wonderful experience every time I look in the mirror. It has definitely given me a lot of street cred as I now get comments from the students like “now you’re a thug for life EJ!” or “your hair is pimpin”. It is just one more experience that has left me feeling like I belong in this community and with my students, and has shown me that little things can make a big difference.

I have fallen in love with the students here and this community and it is because big things can happen. The dormitory is its own special family where the students and staff care about each other. Even though I am so different from the students I serve I feel like I am part of the dorm family. Some of my favorite moments have been when I’ve been able to relax and have fun with the students, and it is always wonderful when that can be connected to learning. This past week I helped a couple boys write sonnets for English class and I never would have thought I would have so much fun working on poetry with freshman boys in high school. They wrote poems about basketball, their shoes, and their snap-back hats and the rhymes were definitely unique. I don’t know that Shakespeare would have used “super fly” as an end rhyme in his pomes, but it certainly made sense for some of my students. In those small moments when what I do is appreciated and full of joy I realize that being here big things are happening to me. I’m changing and becoming a better person with greater understanding, because as much as I help my students they also help me. Every day they help me grow in patience and compassion, and I am so thankful for the great moments I have everyday living in this beautiful small town of Ashland. 

Belonging

I have always had a hard time feeling like I belong, and have often found myself feeling comfortable in strange places. When I studied aboard in Rome I loved going to church with local Italians I didn’t know, and when I was in China I would pray with Buddhists I had just met. In college I was in the South Asian Student Alliance and was the only white girl in a Bollywood dance number and I loved going to Puja services and the student mosque on campus. Once again, I have found myself at home in a unique place. I feel like I belong at St. Labre surrounded by the incredible Crow and Cheyenne students I serve. I belong in a room making moccasins, listening to drum circles, and eating fry bread and chili (which I swear the cafeteria serves almost every week). Basketball is incredibly important to the community here, and although I have never been a sports fan I have been at almost every home game this year. I even traveled three hours to see our students play in an away game at another small town in the middle of nowhere. I think it speaks to how much this place has changed me and touched my heart that I spent nearly eight hours sitting in a tiny gym cheering for our students and feeding them a never ending supply of snacks we snuck in my backpack. I love being there for our students especially the ones that never see anyone there to support them. Everyday there is hardship in seeing how much my students struggle but everyday is filled with grace. There is always a moment that makes me feel like I belong, that I am where I am meant to be, that I am making a difference. As strange as it may sound, in being in a seemingly strange place where I do things I never thought I would do like shooting a gun, eating tons of buffalo, and living small town life I have found a place that I belong. I belong here in Tall White Man Lodge, with my students, and with this amazing community.

Christmas in Ashland

Custer National Forest - Tree Hunting

 

 Merry Christmas!

cutting down our Christmas Tree from Custard National Forest

This holiday season has been incredibly unique for me. For the first time ever I am not going to be going home for Christmas. Although I have already shed some tears over not being able to be home with my family I have developed a unique family here in Ashland at St.Labre. I have been blessed to be able to experience the holidays with other JV’s, people in the community, and the sixty students who live in the dormitory where I work. The feast of St. Nicholas has always been a big deal in my house. I remember putting out the biggest shoe I could find the night before and never being disappointed the next day as it was always filled with goodies. Even when I went to college my mother would come up with a master plan that often involved contacting some roommates or hiding things at the top of closets. This year my mom sent all the people in my house an amazing stocking full of treats. What was really great this year was that I was able to share the tradition not only with my housemates, but also with all the students in the dormitory. I told my supervisor about how special St. Nick day was for me and she bought eighty dollars worth of candy for me to fill the students shoes with. I even put a little note about the feat of St. Nicholas in with their candy bags. I loved seeing all the students come back from school and finding their shoes filled with candy. I have become the head of all Christmas activities at the dorm: planning gingerbread house decorating, ornament making, and making each student a personalized stocking (some people have been joking I need to take a break from the conference room which I have transformed into “Elaina’s Christmas craft room”). Despite the fact that I won’t be able to be with my family and be part of all our traditions I have been a part of some unique Ashland traditions. Who needs a tree farm when you can cut down a Christmas tree from Custard National Forest? Me and some of the other Jesuit Volunteers were commissioned to cut down a tree from the National Forest for the dormitory. The permit to cut down a tree in Custard National Forest is only five dollars and the only stipulations are that you can’t cut one down over fifteen feet and you have to cut it at its base. So three of my housemates and I drove off into the forest and found our fifteen-foot tree in the beautiful snowy forest. It was such a neat experience, and I’m sure the biggest and cheapest tree I’ll ever get in my life. Being at a Catholic Indian school Christmas now includes nativity sets with a teepee and Christmas paper with moccasins covered jingle bells. This past month has given me many struggles and many times made me long to be home, but I have been blessed to have people here who care about me. When I cut my finger open and had to get four stiches there were people who brought me my favorite milk shake to cheer me up, and my amazing supervisor Molly even make a St. Nick surprise for my house. It has made it a little bit easier (although it still isn’t easy) to be always from home for the holidays. I hope that everyone has a blessed Christmas full of blessings with people that care as much about you as the people I have found that care about me in Ashland. 

Trying to make the tree fit on the car

decorating our 15 ft. tree